Most fundraisers have to travel for at least some portion of their time. My daughter (now 7) was very spirited and attached to me. So, I didn't travel without her until she was 3 and a half. We are are very lucky  because my husband is a stay-at-home dad and he was happy to travel with me to conferences a few times a year. Since we homeschool, they still travel with me quite a bit

Luckily, my son (almost 2) is a bit more independent and doesn't mind short-term separations. This means that I travel without my kids more and more these days. And it's important to me to keep connected to my kids when I'm on the road. Some days it's really tough because my schedule is packed, morning to night. Other times, I'm just exhausted from time changes and travel delays. 

Here are some quick ideas that have worked for me to stay connected with my kids when I'm on the road. 

1) Facetime and Skype 

This one is obvious but it wasn't that long ago that these tools weren't widely available. Now, they are available to use almost anytime and anywhere on your phone. I can call from the airport, hotel or even when I'm out and about. These tools are especially important for my son who is too small to talk on the phone or understand when I send messages in any other format. With my daughter, I get updates on what she did for school work and her current projects and with my son I mostly sing songs that we sing at home, etc.

2) Flower power

My daughter and I have a thing that whenever she's not with me, I take pictures of beautiful flowers and send them to her dad (or sometimes grandmother) so she can see the flowers. But, really it is just a confirmation that she's continually on my mind and she gets to be a part of the trip. Beyond flowers, I also take pictures of anything that I think she would love to see or would find interesting. (Photo above was one of the pictures that I took and sent to my daughter while I was in Boston today.) I took a trip this week and she got 5-6 flower pictures, a picture of a replica ship from the Boston Tea Party, and a picture of the pastry cases in a fabulous cannoli shop.

3) Souvenirs

If your kids are like mine, they have ENOUGH knickknacks. Our fridge isn't magnetic and I can't abide the idea of trying to keep a snowglobe from breaking in my luggage. So, we have a few preferred types of souvenirs: pencils (that she can use for her schoolwork and be reminded of our travels), patches (which we sew on her travel backpack), and educational books or coloring books. 

Do you have travel rituals that keep you connected with your kids when you are doing work travel? Any additional good ideas for the little kids?

I work from home and it is difficult to get enough movement when you walk basically to the kitchen, your office and then to your bedroom every day. I had gotten lax in my exercise regimen (what there was of it) and was waking up feeling stiff and sore every morning. 

So, for these reasons, I decided to challenge myself. I wanted to do two things every day: at least 20 minutes of yoga and get 10,000 steps. I add a daily entry indicating that I have done it on my Facebook profile with a status update and the hashtags: #yogaeverydamnday and #10Ksteps. Probably it annoys more than 3/4 of my Facebook friends, but I don't care. In my opinion, I'm helping them with their own practice of scrolling past things that annoy you. 

By Day 10, something weirdly amazing started to happen. I had had a terrible day. My kids had gone bonkers. It was a weird, off day and I basically ate my weight in Mexican food to cope. It was 9PM, my children were finally asleep and I only had like 3,000 steps. 

What did I do? I stayed up until midnight and got those damn steps, that's what I did! 

I could have just stopped posting about it on Facebook and no one would have noticed or cared. But, at this point, I was invested. I didn't want to stop for one bad day and have to "start over" with another 30 days. 

Intractable stubbornness had set in. That stubbornness made me do it because I wanted to, just because. Even though it was hard. Even though there were no gold stars and no one would have cared if I stopped. Now, I'm on Day 15 and I'm starting to see more and more benefits, but the biggest is just the satisfaction that I didn't freaking quit. 

Why am I posting about stubbornness on a blog post that's FUNdraising Friday? For a few reasons: 

1. Honestly, I was behind on my writing and I thought about not writing today. I mean, who would care? But then I thought about how long I've been writing on this blog for 5 days per week now and the same intractable stubbornness propelled me to come up with something.
2. Because this is what's on my mind right now. Not only am I trying to find a new level of consistency from myself but I'm trying to teach my daughter to channel her own stubbornness into practice. 
   
3. I wrote about this on a "fun" column day because I have found in my life that the things that are most fun require higher levels of commitment from me in getting there. Great trips require intense planning. Being a great parent means having patience for the tedious consistency you must develop. Being a great fundraiser means setting a goal you believe you can reach and getting there: no matter what! 
   
4. I think that this psychology has implications for fundraising and especially consecutive year and monthly giving programs. I've always thought that these programs work because they help people forget about giving, making it easy for them and having the staff tending to the reminders. But, with this new perspective, it's possible that consistent giving is in many ways its own reward. It may be the intrinsic motivation that keeps consistent donors giving, not the external factors.

All that said, where in your work can you activate the power of intractable stubbornness? What areas of your personal life could benefit from the same mindset?

Like many fundraisers, I’m goal-oriented. I love that feeling of accomplishment when the goal number has been exceeded or the big gift comes in. In fact, I might be addicted to this feeling. Because when I am plugging along doing my regular work without the big hoopla, sometimes I don’t feel like I’m being productive.

I was feeling unproductive this week. Not because I wasn’t busy or hadn’t made significant progress, but because July is this time of sowing, not reaping. One of my marketing colleagues was complimenting me on some of the important steps I had made for my organization this year and particularly this summer, and suddenly, it was clear to me.

I need to honor the sowing part of my work, not just the reaping.

Success is not all about the big gestures, the payoff, or the celebration party. Most of the time, success is about the small but consistent daily efforts that move your career and your institutions forward. The real measure of success isn’t like skydiving, it’s more like ten minute daily walks.
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So, put your plans together. Write those daily thank-you notes. Build those relationships. Plant those seeds. The harvest will come. But it’s those unremarkable daily actions that pave the path to success.

What do you want to accomplish this week? 

No, that question is flawed. That's a pie-in-the-sky question that lures you into making a to-do list that spills over the edge of your desk and onto the floor. The list will be unrealistic and you will feel like a failure come Friday. Buzzkill. 

What are the 3 things you MUST get done this week? 

Write them down and write down ONLY three. If you get all three done today or tomorrow, you can always do it again and make another list. But start with just three things. 

For most, summertime is a time to plan and prepare. This can cause us to feel like we aren't doing much and so we load on too many tasks to feel more productive. Pull back from this instinct. You'll ultimately get more done and be more successful. 

Start with just three things. It will feel attainable and once you feel you can attain it, you can and will. One task is too few to feel productive, two tasks just feels weird, and any more than three and your list is too long. Just three things. As the song goes, "Three is a magic number."

Just. Three. Things. What will you accomplish this week?

Hey you. Yes, you. Sitting at your work computer munching on your toasted bagel with cream cheese. And you there, scrolling on your phone on public transport. And you, scrolling on your laptop killing a bit of time before your staff meeting. I’m talking straight to you. All of you.

You are amazing.

Really. Truly, amazing. You get up every day and do a job that most people would be scared out of their wits to do. You ask people for money and provide no tangible product in return. That’s hard work.

And that work requires a broad-ranging and diverse skill set that many just do not have. The soft skills of messaging and etiquette and the hard skills of data and statistical analysis. You are also probably highly skilled at various aspect of technology too. It’s likely that to do your job you also have to have knowledge about finance, management, marketing and human resources. That’s a tall order.

You are a force to be reckoned with. Your work enables students to get an education, hungry people to eat meals, animals to find homes and so many other wonderful life-affirming things. All of which wouldn’t happen without the work that you (and others like you) do. You are the superpower of the non-profit world, the engine that makes this sector move: the fundraiser.

So, approach this week like the amazing being you are.

At this point, you are probably sitting a little straighter, nodding your head in agreement at the realization of how awesome you are. Maybe you are claiming the amazing things your non-profit does in the world as your own accomplishments. Yes, they are yours. Own them. The more connected you are to mission, the happier you will be in your work and the more funds you will raise for your good cause.
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Now, ask yourself, how can I create this same feeling for each of my donors? What would make them feel amazing and personally responsible for the good things this organization does in the world? What would make them stand straighter and take ownership of the good your non-profit does? Do that and they will give more and they will feel amazing about giving, about your institution and about themselves.

If you don’t know Adam Grant, let me brighten your Monday. He’s a powerhouse business writer and an amazing TED talk speaker. Today I want to walk you through three takeaways from his book, Give and Take.

Grant states that people can be divided into givers, takers and matchers based on whether they are motivated by giving, getting or some combination thereof (respectively). In one chapter he looks at the concept of burnout and he ends up (of all places) in a university call center.

He assessed whether the callers were givers, takers or matchers. He assumed that the takers would not be good at the job but is surprised to see that the way in the job is marketed (highest paying job on campus) and the way the motivation is structured ("win", "be the best") is actually highly motivating for the takers. Grant wonders what could be done to improve the results of the giver callers. 

What he finds is remarkable: spending 5 minutes reading letters from scholarship recipients motivated the giver-callers to close the performance gap between themselves and the taker-callers in ONE WEEK! So, Grant brought in an actual scholarship recipient to chat with a random group of callers about the impact that the funds they were raising had made in their lives. All callers (regardless of motivational type) saw a drastic increase in performance (as measured in calls per hour, number of minutes on the phone and dollars, which quintupled versus the control group). Givers saw an even more dramatic increase in performance.

Then Grant writes a line that takes this lesson far beyond call center: “The turnaround highlights a remarkable principle of giver burnout: it has less to do with the amount of giving and more with the amount of feedback about the impact of that giving.” (Page 165).

Wow!

Takeaway #1: Many, if not most, of our donors are givers. So, what Grant is saying is that DONOR burnout is within our control. Make it your goal this year to make your donors as aware of the impact of their gift as possible. If 5 minutes reading a note from a scholarship recipient can make a huge difference in the performance of a student caller, what could consistent, impact-oriented messaging around these issues do for your donor’s happiness and willingness to give again?

Takeaway #2: Think about the ways in which we are marketing the student jobs in our call centers. Are you only recruiting and motivating for the takers/matchers? What are you doing to be mission and impact focused in your recruiting and training materials for callers? What are you doing for all of the students to reconnect them with the mission and impact during the normal shift? You should incorporate strategies like Grant suggests not only because you have giver-callers who need the motivation but remember ALL the callers saw an increase in performance when given explicit and emotional examples of impact.

Takeaway #3: Here's one last thing to think about: What type are you? If you are a giver and you're feeling burnt out, what can you do to connect back to the mission? Maybe you need to take a walk on campus and go speak directly with students and faculty, the beneficiaries of all of your hard work. Nurture yourself to your type so that this important work can be completed.

If you like Adam Grant, check out his TED Talks here.

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