Scripts to Bring Up Planned Giving Without Feeling Weird About It

Scripts to Bring Up Planned Giving Without Feeling Weird About It

When I taught my first graduate-level course this summer – Ethical and Community-Centered Fundraising – I expected good questions. What I didn’t expect was just how much anxiety would surface around one specific topic: planned giving.

These were smart, values-driven future leaders. People already thinking in terms of justice, legacy, and long-term impact. But the minute we shifted into planned giving, the energy changed.

It wasn’t the concept they struggled with. It was the conversation.

How do you bring up wills and estate plans without making it weird?
What if you say the wrong thing?
What if it feels morbid – or worse, transactional?

At their request, I created a simple guide: real phrases, grounded in real situations, to make legacy conversations feel natural, honest, and even hopeful.

Turns out, it’s not just my students who need this.
So if you’ve ever felt that same hesitation – this post is for you.

Because here’s the truth: Planned giving conversations don’t have to be awkward. They can be inspiring. They can even be joyful.

You don’t need to be a tax expert. You just need to know how to bring it up – gracefully and confidently.

Let’s start there.

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What to Say When You Want to Bring It Up (Without Sounding Morbid)

Sometimes you’ll have donors reaching out first – through your website, a legacy giving survey, or in response to a donor story. Those are the easiest planned giving conversations because the interest is already there.

​But when you need to be the one to raise the topic, here are some ways to bring it up without making it feel heavy:

• “I know how deeply you care about our mission. Have you ever thought about how you’d like that impact to continue in the future?”
• “We’ve been talking a lot about your commitment to this cause. Some donors choose to include a gift that lasts beyond their lifetime – has that idea ever crossed your mind?”
• “Can I ask – have you done any estate planning? Sometimes people like to include a charitable gift, and I always make sure our most loyal supporters know that’s an option.”
• “You strike me as someone who thinks ahead. I wonder if you’ve ever explored including causes you care about in your long-term plans?”
• “You’ve done so much for this organization already. If you ever want to talk about ways to make your impact last, even after your lifetime, I’d love to be part of that conversation.”

​You’re not pushing. You’re not being morbid. You’re simply opening a door – letting them know that this kind of giving is possible, meaningful, and available to them.

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Why It’s Worth Getting Comfortable

You do need to have these conversations. Here’s why:

🟢 Planned gifts are huge. On average, they’re 200–300x the size of an annual gift. That’s because they’re made from lifetime assets, not income. (Source: National Estate Planning Awareness Week)

🟢 They’re already in your database. The donors who are most likely to leave you in their will? They're not wealthy strangers. They’re the consistent supporters who’ve given every year for the past decade. (Source: How to Talk About Death and Taxes)

🟢 You’ll never know unless you ask. A $25-a-month donor might be planning a six-figure bequest and never mention it unless you give them a reason to.

🟢 There’s $12 trillion on the move. The Great Wealth Transfer is projected to move $84 trillion by 2045, with $11.9 trillion going to charitable causes. That wave is already building. (Source: How to Talk About Death and Taxes)

🟢 Peer stories work. When donors hear from others like them who’ve made legacy commitments, your inbox starts filling up with questions – not awkward ones, but warm, intentional ones like: “Can I do this too?” (Source: Planned Giving Leads Don’t Generate Themselves)

🟢 You don’t need to overcomplicate it. Bequests and beneficiary designations are all most donors need to know. These are simple, flexible tools that don’t require financial wizardry or legal acrobatics. (Source: Cut Through the Clutter)

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Shift the Framing, Not Just the Phrasing

These conversations become easier when you stop thinking of them as talking about death and start thinking of them as talking about legacy.

“What if your annual support could live on forever? By including [Your Nonprofit] in your estate, you could turn your yearly gift into a lasting endowment.”

This is about continuity. It’s about making their values stretch beyond a single lifetime. It’s not about dying – it’s about staying connected to something they believe in.
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And when you position it that way, it doesn’t feel grim. It feels good.

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Don’t Wait for the Perfect Moment – Create One

Your donors won’t bring this up on their own unless they’ve already made a decision. Your job is to create the conditions where that decision becomes possible.

And that starts with language – gentle, honest, open-ended questions that let the donor lead, but make it clear that legacy giving is an option you believe in and value.

So don’t be afraid to ask.
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And when they say yes? Be ready with the next step: a landing page, sample language, a checklist, or a simple conversation about how to make it happen.

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📌 Want a quick win? Use these same phrases in:

• Your direct mail acknowledgments
• Thank-you calls to long-time donors
• Conversations with board members and volunteers
• Email or social media content during National Estate Planning Awareness Week

Planned giving isn’t about “the ask.” It’s about the invitation.

When you know how to extend it with confidence and care, the whole conversation shifts – from something to avoid… to one of the most meaningful parts of your work.

​Cheers!

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If you liked this…

• National Estate Planning Awareness Week
• Cut Through the Clutter
• Planned Giving Leads Don’t Generate Themselves
• How to Talk about Death and Taxes
• Spring Cleaning for Fundraisers: Organizing Planned Giving Documentation