So let’s talk about a fundraising skill that never makes the slide deck – but affects every single donor conversation: your ability to receive.

Receiving: the skill of accepting with grace – no strings, no scrambling, no shame. If you can’t accept a compliment without brushing it off, if you downplay a gift or reflexively offer something back the second someone does something kind for you… it might be time to take a closer look at your receivership muscle.

Yes, I said receivership. As in, the ability to simply receive.

Not barter.
Not apologize.
Not prove you’ve earned it.

Just receive.
​​
Now, I know this might sound like a soft skill or a personality quirk. But hear me out. This is mindset work. And for fundraisers, it matters.

Most fundraisers I know didn’t get into this work because they wanted attention or praise. We’re here to serve. We advocate for missions we believe in. We lift others up. But too often, that servant mindset gets twisted into something smaller: self-neglect, chronic under-earning, burnout, or quiet insecurity that whispers you’re not doing enough no matter how much you give.

And if you’re carrying that around – if you’ve internalized the message that your worth is tied to your productivity or output – donors will pick up on it.

Not consciously. But it seeps in.

You’ll hedge your asks.
You’ll downplay your case.
You’ll lead with scarcity instead of confidence.

​You’ll make it harder for them to give.

Here’s the truth I come back to, again and again: Worthiness is inherent. Not earned. Not measured by campaign goals or gift totals. It’s your birthright. Mine too.

But most of us weren’t raised to feel that in our bones. And let’s be honest, nonprofit culture doesn’t always help. We celebrate hustle and sacrifice. We glorify being “lean.” We wear our under-resourced status like a badge. And then we wonder why our donors hesitate.
​
That energy – of not-enoughness – clashes with the generosity we’re asking for. If we want donors to see our missions as worthy of investment, we have to believe that ourselves. And that starts with how we show up in everyday life.

Let someone buy your coffee without rushing to get the next round.

Accept a compliment without shrinking or deflecting. Just say thank you.

Take a breath when someone helps you, instead of jumping into apology or explanation.

These are small things. But they add up. They rewire your nervous system to believe: I can receive. I don’t have to hustle for every drop of goodness in my life.

And that’s the same belief you need when you sit across from a donor and ask for a major gift. It’s the belief that says: This work is worthy. This mission deserves support. And I am a trustworthy guide for your generosity.

That doesn’t come from a script. It comes from the inside out.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear how you’ve worked on receiving in your own life. Or where you’ve struggled with it. It’s tender work – but it’s the kind that changes everything.

Let’s stop shrinking. Let’s stop scrambling to prove ourselves. Let’s remember what was true all along: You’re worthy. Your mission is worthy. And it’s okay to receive.
​
Cheers!

P.S. Like this kind of insight?
Subscribe to Real Deal Fundraising and get my best articles, tools, and curated resources every week – including webinars, videos, and free downloads.

If you liked this…

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I’ve long been an advocate for fundraisers to be better partners with our database colleagues because they can make or break your success. And after decades of working closely with our data buddies, I can say that they often get frustrated with us because we send emails like this:

“Can you pull a list of major donors?”

That’s it. No timeline. No parameters. No context.

When data requests go off the rails, it’s usually not because anyone’s trying to be difficult. It’s because we’re talking past each other.

Fundraisers are focused on goals. Database folks are focused on parameters. You’re thinking: “I need a list of lapsed donors for a postcard.” They’re thinking: “Define lapsed. Which years? Which exclusions? What fields? What format?”

When those details don’t get nailed down up front, your request sits in the queue. Or it bounces back with more questions. Or worse – it gets filled, but it’s wrong, and now you’re scrambling.

That back-and-forth burns time and goodwill. And in fundraising, timing matters.

But – there’s no judgment here. Most fundraisers aren’t trained in how to “speak database.” You know what you need, you just might not know how to say it in a way your CRM or advancement services team can use.

That’s what this post is about. Whether you’re a frontline fundraiser, a VP, or a one-person shop trying to wear all the hats – if you rely on data to do your job (and you do), you need to know how to make a clean, effective request.

​I can help you there.

Taking five extra minutes to complete a thoughtful data request could save you five days of email ping-pong – or five weeks of waiting for a fix when something gets pulled incorrectly.

And if your project is time-sensitive? It could cost you five big gifts. Or more.

Maybe a solicitation gets delayed because someone forgot to specify an exclusion. An important donor gets left out of an event invite because the list was pulled in a rush. The details matter.

You don’t have to become a database expert. But you do need to learn how to frame your request clearly. That means giving enough context for your advancement services or CRM colleagues to:

• Understand the goal
• Identify the correct records
• Exclude the ones you don’t want
• Deliver it in a useful format
• Hit your timeline without a panic button

That’s why I created a Data Request Template, and it’s all at the end of this post. But before you copy and paste, let me walk you through the thinking behind it.

Here’s what should go into every data request you make:

Date Needed
Start with the date you want to review the file. If you have a final send date – like to a printer, email platform, or gift officer – include that too. Build in review time and ask for it at least a week ahead.

Purpose
Be specific. Are you mailing a solicitation? Sending a digital campaign? Calling for event follow-up? This helps determine the right segments and delivery method.

Overview
Write two or three sentences describing the project. This gives your colleague a mental model of what you're aiming to do and why it matters.

Prior Pull
Have you asked for a similar file before? If yes, when? If it went well, that helps them repeat the success. If it didn’t, they’ll know how to make adjustments.

Report Criteria
This is where you define who should be in the file. What makes someone eligible? Think about giving history, affiliation, geography, or whatever criteria match your goal. Think of this as a net you are throwing around the prospects you want to see.

Exclusions
Who should not be in this file? Don’t assume standard exclusions. Spell them out: Deceased, Do Not Contact, Current Students, Faculty/Staff, Current Year Donors – whatever applies. Be clear. Think of this as a boundary keeping records out that you don’t want to see.

Format
Excel, CSV, PDF? Match your needs. If you’re importing into an email platform or using it for a mail merge, say so.

Fields Needed
Don’t just say “name and address.” Think through what you actually need: email, phone number, last gift date, last gift amount, salutation lines, grad year, etc. The more precise you are, the fewer follow-ups you’ll have later.

For instance, when I request a file and I want to see giving information, I ask for the file to include: last gift date, last gift amount, last gift fund, greatest gift date, greatest gift amount, greatest gift fund, and sometimes first gift date, first gift amount, and first gift fund. Sometimes I also like to see total lifetime giving and total number of lifetime gifts too. That list is a far cry from “giving history.”

Notes
If you’re estimating 5,000 records, say so. If this is part of a campaign with other moving pieces, mention that too. Context helps your colleagues prioritize and prepare. If you already have a draft of the specific message, you can attach that. Data folks love having the whole vision.

Want to copy it straight into your next email? Here’s a quick version:
​
Date Needed:
Purpose:
Overview:
Prior Pull?:
Report Criteria:
Exclusions:
Format:
Fields:
Notes:

Clear requests build better relationships. When you send thoughtful, complete data requests, you become someone your CRM team can trust. And when they trust you, they’re faster. More responsive. More likely to go the extra mile when you’re in a crunch.

This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being respectful of their time – and protecting your outcomes.

​So yes, it might take five extra minutes on the front end. But that could save you five days of delays or five missed opportunities.

And those gifts? They’re worth it.

Want smoother workflows and faster data pulls? Or just want a second set of eyes on your advancement strategy? Let’s connect.

Cheers!

P.S. Like this kind of insight?
Subscribe to Real Deal Fundraising and get my best articles, tools, and curated resources every week – including webinars, videos, and free downloads.

If you liked this…

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Let's pretend the TikTok comment section is a search history.

This was a meme engagement prompt circulating around Tiktok, so I adapted it for nonprofit fundraisers. And the results were funny but also a bit depressing.

• "Free spa day near me."
• "Easy six-figure grant."
• "Jobs where I don’t go to bed anxious."
• "Work from home jobs where no one yells at me."
• "How to plan a gala on $250."

​
I’ve written about burnout. But this felt different. These aren't just punchlines. They're quiet cries for help disguised as jokes. And they struck a nerve. The comments rolled in: funny, raw, painful, *real*. This wasn’t just a social media prompt. It was a mirror for the nonprofit fundraising sector.

Fundraisers turn burnout into memes because humor is safer than honesty.

Because saying "I'm not okay" feels like a risk.

Because the system rewards silence and penalizes boundaries.
​
Gallows humor isn't just venting – it's a way our nervous systems regulate under pressure. When enough people laugh at the same joke, it signals: you're not the only one. You're not imagining it. This job is breaking people. Quiet cracking, indeed.

That the expectations of nonprofit fundraising are structurally absurd:

• Raise millions but don't spend on staff.
• Be warm and authentic but hit your metrics.
• Work for the purpose, but not for the pay.

​We joke because naming it plainly would require everything to change.

• Name it. Share the meme *and* the meaning.
• Don’t confuse burnout with weakness.
• Support each other. Community is armor.

​You're not alone. And you're not crazy. We need more honest conversations on LinkedIn and in the workplace. We need to acknowledge that burnout isn’t a personal failure. It’s an occupational hazard.
So, if you're a fundraiser trying to find your way back to sanity, find me over on Tiktok or subscribe here to my weekly newsletter. Let’s keep this conversation going!

Cheers!

Jessica

P.S. Like this kind of insight? Subscribe to Real Deal Fundraising and get my best articles, tools, and curated resources every week – including webinars, videos, and free downloads.

If you liked this… 

• How to Spot and Stop Fundraising Burnout Before It Leads to Turnover
• Take Your PTO: Why I’m Logging Off – and Why You Might Need To, Too
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• Why Most Fundraising Plans Fail (and How to Build One That Doesn’t)
• Wear the Suit: Presence starts in your mind, not your closet

In 2018, I sat in a conference room during a session led by executive presence coach Eda Roth. She broke down executive presence into three components: communication, appearance, and gravitas. She shared that the impact of your presence comes across in three ways:

• 55% through visual cues – your appearance and body language
• 38% through vocal cues – tone, pacing, and volume
• Only 7% through your actual words

That stuck with me. As a fundraiser, I’d been taught to focus on what I was saying: the pitch, the story, the ask. But this shifted something. I started to think more about how I was being – not just what I was saying.
And the more I worked with fundraisers in the years that followed, the more I came to believe this: Gravitas isn’t one-third of executive presence. It’s the result of the other two (communication and appearance) – plus something extra.

It’s what makes someone feel grounded, trustworthy, and clear – even before they speak. And here’s the good news: you don’t have to act like someone else to cultivate it.

Dr. Lisa Hale, writing for Forbes, defines gravitas as the blend of eight qualities: confidence, composure, credibility, clarity, conviction, connection, decisiveness, and respect. She says it’s the moment you stop asking “Do I belong in this room?” and start asking “What do the people in this room need from me?”

That’s exactly the shift fundraisers need to make.

Gravitas isn’t about being the loudest or most polished. It’s about having internal calm and external presence – so that donors, board members, and colleagues feel like they’re in steady hands.

Here’s what gravitas looks like when it shows up in real conversations and real donor meetings:

• Confidence – You know your worth, your expertise, your impact and the impact of your organization – and you let that knowledge inform your tone, your posture, and your choices.
• Composure – You stay calm when a donor surprises you with a tough question or an emotional story. You don’t rush. You breathe.
• Credibility – You follow through on your promises. You bring the right facts. You become someone they can rely on.
• Clarity – You don’t speak in jargon or try to impress. You say what you mean and ask for what’s needed – directly.
• Conviction – Your belief in your mission is tangible. You’re passionate without being pushy.
• Connection – You listen deeply. You nod. You mirror their energy. You see the person across from you.
• Decisiveness – You steer the conversation. You guide next steps. You’re not waiting for permission to lead.
• Respect – You treat your donors’ time, stories, and values with care – and you treat yourself the same way.

After that 2018 conference session, I found myself in a networking event with other women in higher education leadership. The conversation turned to fashion.

I happened to be wearing knee-high black suede boots, small fishnet hosiery, and a red-and-black dress that made me feel powerful and completely myself. So I asked, “Do you think women in higher ed leadership can be successful wearing boots and fishnets?”
​
One woman answered, without missing a beat:
“Women in leadership should wear whatever makes them feel powerful.”

That’s stayed with me. We sometimes forget that appearance is part of presence – not because we have to look a certain way to be respected, but because what we wear affects how we carry ourselves. When you feel put together, you stand taller. You smile more easily. You claim your seat at the table.

Let your wardrobe reflect both professionalism and personality:

• Tailored pieces with a pop of color or bold pattern
• Comfortable, confident footwear (yes, that includes boots)
• Accessories that feel like you, not like a costume

​You don’t have to disappear into neutrals to lead with strength.

You don’t have to be a body language expert to connect powerfully in a meeting. These small cues can make a big difference:

• Nod as they talk. It shows you’re tracking – and it makes them feel heard.
• Lean in slightly when they share something important. It’s a physical signal of emotional presence.
• Mirror their posture and pace – subtly. People tend to trust those who feel “in sync” with them.
• Slow down if they’re reflective. Speed up a bit if they’re animated. Match their energy with authenticity.

Fundraisers often worry about what to say. But how you say it carries even more weight.

• Match your volume to the space and person. Don’t overpower – or disappear.
• Use pauses to let your words land – and to show confidence in your message.
• Ask a thoughtful question right before you take a bite or sip in a meeting where you are having a meal. It gives the donor the floor and you a moment to regroup.

Imposter syndrome is real. And it’s sneaky. You can be experienced, credentialed, and well-prepared – and still feel like your voice doesn’t carry weight.

But gravitas shows up when you shift from proving yourself to trusting yourself.
​
You don’t need to be louder. Or slicker. You need to be more yourself – grounded, clear, and focused on the person in front of you.

Executive presence isn’t a suit you put on. It’s a muscle you build. Fundraisers with gravitas don’t just ask for money – they inspire trust, connection, and confidence.

So go ahead:

• Wear the dress that makes you walk taller.
• Ask the direct question.
• Let silence do some of the work.
• Show up as the most grounded version of yourself.

You don’t have to act like someone else to have presence. You just have to show up on purpose.

What’s one way you’re learning to trust yourself more this year – in fundraising or in life?

Cheers!
​
Jessica

P.S. Like this kind of insight? Subscribe to Real Deal Fundraising and get my best articles, tools, and curated resources every week – including webinars, videos, and free downloads.

If you liked this…

• 21 Ways to Alleviate Impostor Syndrome
• Breaking into Fundraising: Real Talk for New Grads (and Anyone Starting Fresh)
• Wear the Suit: Presence starts in your mind, not your closet.
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• Who’s Afraid of Burnout & Turnover? You Should Be.

I had a long conversation a few days ago with a brand-new college grad who’s hoping to land her first job in fundraising. We covered a lot of ground. Some of what I shared was the usual advice. Some of it was the stuff you only hear when someone’s willing to tell you the truth.
​
So here’s my actual advice for those who want to break into fundraising but feel stuck because they don’t have the experience yet.  

To paraphrase the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland: “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.”

If your long-term goal is Executive Director, Chief Development Officer, or Major Gifts Officer, don’t apply for back-office roles like gift processing. Those positions matter (I’m on record as saying that partnership with these important roles is paramount to fundraising success) but they rarely lead to donor-facing roles, no matter how good you are. The leap from behind-the-scenes to front-line is a hard one, even if you’re in the same department.

If your dream job is out front with donors, start out front with donors – even if it’s entry-level. A Leadership Annual Giving or Donor Relations role might not sound flashy, but it will get you in the room with donors and decision-makers.
​
Think long. Think strategically. Your first job should point in the same direction as your dream job.

Front-line fundraising roles have a personal element that doesn’t always come across on a resume. You’re selling your communication skills, your presence, your ability to connect. To put it bluntly, great fundraisers are at least in part personality hires. But, as with many things, if you have to say that you are a personality hire, you probably aren’t one.

The best way around that? Don’t rely only on paper. Talk to people.
​
Tell everyone you know that you want to work in nonprofit fundraising. Your neighbor might be on the board of a food bank. Your friend’s aunt might chair the development committee at a local theater.
​
Ask for informational interviews (which is exactly how this new grad got to talk with me for an hour). Join your local AFP chapter. Volunteer at events. These conversations open doors. Sometimes wide.

Research shows that women tend to apply for jobs only when they meet all the required and preferred qualifications. Men? They'll throw their hat in the ring even if they don’t check all the boxes.

Stop waiting until you’re 100% qualified. There is no one keeping score for jobs you don’t get a callback on (except maybe you). As they say, you can’t win it, if you ain’t in it.

Read the job description. If you’re even halfway there, and it aligns with your long-term goals? Apply. Don’t self-select out.
​
You can learn the rest.

That’s what I told her. And if I were talking to you, I’d tell you the same.

Your career in fundraising won’t be built in a day. But if you start with intention, talk to the right people, and stop waiting for perfect – you’re already ahead of the game.

Cheers!
​
Jessica

P.S. Like this kind of insight? Subscribe to Real Deal Fundraising and get my best articles, tools, and curated resources every week – including webinars, videos, and free downloads.

If you liked this… 

• Thoughts for Thursday: Oh the Places You’ll Go – Resources for Job Seekers
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• 8 Essential Skills in Fundraising
• The CFRE Credential: What I Got Right, What I Got Wrong, and Why It Was Worth It

 Back in 2007, I was prepping for a presentation to my peers – young professionals like me, running fundraising call centers across the country. We were mostly in our 20s, ambitious, a little scrappy, and working in a company culture that leaned casual.

I was thinking about wearing a skirt suit. It felt like the right thing for the moment. But I was second-guessing it hard.

What if they thought I was stuck up? Or trying too hard? Or trying to be something I wasn’t?

I asked my husband what he thought.

He said, “Wear the suit.”

I explained the whole situation again, sure he didn’t get it.

He said again, “Wear. The. Suit.”

By the third time, I was exasperated.

That’s when he clarified: “If you’re going to wear the suit, wear the suit... Stand in it. Own it. Don’t apologize for it. You’re stepping into the authority you already have – but you’ve got to embody it. If you do that, what anyone else thinks won’t matter.”

That moment stuck.

​Because it was never about the suit. It was about how I carried myself in the suit.

You can’t control how other people read you. But you can decide how you show up.

You can choose to walk into the room with the posture, presence, and clarity of someone who belongs there. You can lead – even when you're still growing.

So whatever your “suit” is – your outfit, your opening line, your tone – don’t just put it on.

Wear it.

Let’s bring it into your world:
What’s your version of “the suit”? That thing that helps you stand taller and lead stronger when it counts?

Drop it in the comments – I’d love to hear what helps you show up with presence.

Cheers!

​Jessica

P.S. Like this kind of insight? Subscribe to Real Deal Fundraising and get my best articles, tools, and curated resources every week – including webinars, videos, and free downloads.

If you liked this…

• 21 Ways to Alleviate Impostor Syndrome
• The Responsibility Calendar: The Best Way to Reach Your Fundraising Goals
• The CFRE Credential
• How to Spot (and Stop) Fundraiser Burnout
• The Main Thing . . . My Fundraising Mantra

In a few days, I’m heading out of the country with my family. No laptop. No inbox. No quick peeks at work in the evenings. Just real, present time with the people I love most. (Peep the picture above of my kids in their first Uber ride last week.) 😊

We recently had one of those “now or never” conversations. Our kids are growing up fast, and we realized that if we didn’t start making international travel part of our family story, we might miss the chance. I want them to see the world – to experience other ways of being, other values, other rhythms of life. I want them to be citizens of the world, not just the United States.

So we’re going. And I’m letting myself go all in.

Here’s the truth: I’m not stepping away from work despite being a fundraiser. I’m doing it because I am.
Fundraising is heart work. It’s personal, demanding, often overwhelming. That passion can make rest feel like a luxury – something we have to earn or squeeze in around the edges. That shows up across the sector: data from January 2025 show that nonprofit workers leave more unused PTO than all industries except government.

But rest isn’t a luxury. It’s part of the job.

I’ve shared before why self-care for nonprofit fundraisers matters – and not just for bubble baths, but for building real boundaries and intention. I’ve also explored burnout in our profession and how it quietly silences the best of us.

Taking breaks gives us perspective. It reconnects us with our “why.” It lets us return creative, grounded, and ready. When leaders model this, they build a culture that values people – not just productivity.

If you’ve delayed that vacation or pushed through burnout thinking your mission can’t wait: the work will be here when you get back. And you’ll be better for having stepped away.

I’ll be off until mid-July. I hope you find your own window to rest, recharge, and remember who you are outside the job.

You deserve it. And the people you serve deserve the best version of you – not someone running on fumes.

Cheers!

P.S. Don’t worry – while I’m away, I’ve scheduled fresh content to post on my TikTok, LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube, and Bluesky. So if you need encouragement or inspiration, it’ll be waiting for you.

PPS - I hope you’ll continue the conversation by subscribing to Real Deal Fundraising. When you subscribe, you’ll get my e-newsletter, which includes the best articles on fundraising, productivity, and cool stuff every week. The whole thing is curated awesomeness as well as freebies like webinars, instructional videos, and whatever else I can put together to be helpful to you!

If you liked this…

• Why Most Fundraising Plans Fail
• Self-Care for Nonprofit Pros
• Climbing Out of Burnout
• How to Spot and Stop Fundraising Burnout and Turnover
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Of all my blog posts and TikTok videos, some of the most popular have been when I’ve talked about becoming a Certified Fundraising Executive (CFRE). Every time I share about it, I get a flood of DMs and emails with questions like:

• “How do I apply?”
• “What’s the exam really like?”
• “Is it actually worth the effort and cost?”

​
So I decided it was time to pull everything together – my real-world experience applying, what I learned the hard way when I took the exam (spoiler: I failed the first time), and why I still believe the CFRE is one of the most valuable credentials in our profession.
​
Here’s what I got right, what I got wrong, and why I’m so glad I did it.

Here’s the good news: applying for the CFRE is easier than you think. You just go to www.cfre.org, create a login, and begin your application. Even if you don’t plan to apply right away, you can start tracking your experience and education in the system. It’s like a running professional development journal.

Pro tip: You don’t need those little CFRE credit certificates from every session. If the program was hosted by a reputable organization (AFP, CASE, Academic Impressions, etc.), just record the title, sponsor, and date. Bonus – recent changes mean that all your volunteer and service work now counts under “Education.”

You’ll also track:

• Professional practice (your years in the field)
• Professional performance (funds raised, management projects, communications efforts)

​For example, I received credit for a building campaign I directed – even though I didn’t personally ask every donor – because I managed the campaign from the ground up. For my management project, I submitted a policy document I drafted that improved how naming opportunities were documented and proposals were generated. It counted.

Once you’ve entered enough qualifying experience, the system will literally give you a green light in each section. That’s when you can pay the exam fee and move forward.

Here’s where I blew it.

I decided to take the CFRE exam cold. No prep. No studying. And even though I had 10+ years of experience… I failed by just a few points.

The CFRE exam isn’t just a knowledge test – it’s a judgment test.

It won’t ask: “Why should you start a donor relations program?”
It’ll ask: “What is the first step you should take to build a donor relations program?”

And several answers will be technically correct. You have to pick the best one, in the right sequence, based on what a seasoned, ethical professional should do.

After my initial disappointment (and, okay, a little self-pity), I registered again for the next testing window. I bought the AFP CFRE Review Guide (worth every penny), and I practiced with sample questions to get a feel for the exam’s structure.

If you’re preparing, my advice is this:

• Start 4-6 weeks before your exam date
• Focus on question style and scenario logic
• Don’t try to memorize everything – aim for comprehension across broad areas

Earning my CFRE made me a better advancement professional. Period.

But it also gave me something more – credibility, confidence, and clarity about what kind of fundraiser I want to be.

Here’s why I believe the CFRE is a valuable credential:

1. It signals real expertise.
Fundraising isn’t (yet) an academic discipline. The CFRE is shorthand that you know your stuff. It’s like a degree that speaks directly to your skillset and experience.

2. It shows your commitment to ethics.
The CFRE requires – and enforces – a high standard of fundraising ethics. That matters. It matters to your employer, to your donors, and to the reputation of the entire nonprofit sector.

3. It demonstrates your dedication to continual growth.
In a field that’s always evolving, this credential shows you’re serious about your craft. That you’re not just working hard – you’re working smart and staying sharp.

My new course, The Smart Start Fundraising System, offers 5 CFRE continuing education credits and gives you a complete, strategic system to build your annual fundraising plan.
​
Whether you’re already certified and need credits, or you’re planning to apply soon, this course is a great way to invest in your professional development and build a plan you’ll actually follow.

And if you have questions about the CFRE process or exam – hit reply or leave a comment. I’d love to hear your story. Are you thinking about applying? What’s holding you back?

Let’s talk about it. 💬
​
Cheers!

​PS - I hope you’ll continue the conversation by subscribing to Real Deal Fundraising. When you subscribe, you’ll get my e-newsletter, which includes the best articles on fundraising, productivity, and cool stuff every week. The whole thing is curated awesomeness as well as freebies like webinars, instructional videos, and whatever else I can put together to be helpful to you!

If you liked this…

• Why Most Fundraising Plans Fail
• Applying to be a CFRE
• The CFRE Exam
• Culture of Philanthropy Check-Up
• Beautiful on a Budget: How to Design Stunning Fundraising Event Decor for $250 or Less

I couldn’t stop crying. A holiday party hosted by a colleague was starting in about an hour. I’d love to say that I hadn’t felt like this before, but I had. But, this time, it wasn’t postpartum depression or difficulty dealing with isolation during COVID. This time, I knew I had careened directly into a wall called burnout.
​
My introvert husband volunteered to go alone in my stead. I was so grateful. He would say I had a headache, which after all the tears was true. I retreated to my bed. I was so embarrassed that I could not pull myself together, especially since my expertise was relationships.  

I had sold a house, bought a house in a new town, began going into an actual office again after being a remote employee for 8 years, hired an entire team, and was juggling what seemed like 18,000 competing demands of fundraising for an institution that needed much more than they had in the donor pipeline. I had no friends outside of work in my new town and I had high blood pressure (literally). Even after many months, my house still looked like a storage unit and we lived in the rabbit trails between stacks of boxes that I had neither the time nor energy to unpack.

At the time, did I think that something needed to change about my new life? No, I blamed myself for not adjusting well, for not keeping up, for what I perceived as the gap between my public performance and my real life.

I’m now back to my previous remote fundraising position, mixing travel with Zoom meetings. And my energy and zeal for work has made a dramatic comeback. I have a broader network locally than I did before, with time to take walks with a friend most mornings, teach poetry and dance, write this blog and make TikTok videos, and go to yoga classes. My house is a comfortable place to be most days. And I’m raising more money than ever!
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Burnout is more than a buzzword. It is a genuine crisis, not just for the individuals experiencing it, but for the organizations that depend on their energy, creativity, and dedication. And when burnout leads to turnover, it’s more than just a human resource issue; it’s a threat to your nonprofit's ability to build lasting relationships with donors and, ultimately, to its financial sustainability.

Burnout is that creeping exhaustion that makes you dread the next meeting, the next phone call, the next donor visit. According to a report by the Center for Effective Philanthropy, 69% of nonprofit leaders are worried about burnout among their staff. And why wouldn’t they be? Nonprofit work environments are often high-stress, resource-strapped, and emotionally taxing – conditions ripe for burnout.
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What’s alarming is that this isn’t just a leadership problem. Across the board, from entry-level staff to executive directors, burnout is taking its toll. A survey by Nonprofit Hive found that 77% of respondents reported feeling completely burned out, with 20% admitting they were "crispy" – right on the edge of burnout. This isn’t just a bad day at the office; it’s a systemic issue that’s been brewing for years.

Burnout doesn’t just lead to unhappy employees; it leads to turnover. And in fundraising, turnover is more than just a logistical headache – it’s a financial disaster waiting to happen. When your fundraiser leaves, they don’t just take their expertise with them; their leaving disrupts and derails the relationships they’ve spent months or even years cultivating.

Consider this: A Council for the Advancement and Support of Education study on principal gifts at colleges and universities found that more than half of $1 million+ donors had relationships with the institution lasting between 11 and 40 years. On average, it takes nearly 20 months from the initial conversation to the moment a principal gift is booked. Now, imagine the damage that occurs when a key fundraiser – who’s only been around for 16-18 months – leaves before they can seal the deal. The impact on your bottom line is clear, but the real loss is the relationship that never had the chance to fully develop.
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A 2022 analysis by Ruffalo Noel Levitz of over 3,000 major givers further underscores this point. Before making their first $25,000 gift, donors typically spent an average of 11.9 years as supporters, made 13.8 gifts, and had been giving for over 7 years. These numbers tell us one thing: major gifts and especially principal gifts don’t happen overnight. They’re the result of long-term relationships built on trust, mutual respect, and consistency.

In far too many organizations, the response to turnover is to double down on goals, increase oversight, lean on metrics, and push employees even harder. In my opinion, this is the death knell of the 20th-century leadership model – a model built on command and control, where employees are expected to follow orders and meet targets, no matter the cost to their well-being.
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But here’s the thing: That approach doesn’t work anymore. In fact, it’s going to bite these organizations hard. High turnover rates disrupt the donor pipeline, making it nearly impossible to cultivate the kind of long-term relationships necessary for securing major and principal gifts. When fundraisers are constantly churning through roles, your organization is left in a perpetual state of starting over – losing momentum, missing opportunities, and ultimately, falling short of its mission.

It’s time for a change. The 21st-century workplace must be built on a foundation of trust, flexibility, and autonomy. This isn’t just the humane thing to do; it’s the smart thing to do for the health and viability of your fundraising efforts. Treat your fundraisers like the professionals they are. Give them the autonomy to manage their work, the flexibility to find balance, and the trust to build relationships with donors in a way that’s authentic and sustainable.
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When you create a workplace that supports people as people, you don’t just prevent burnout; you enhance your organization’s ability to thrive. Long-term relationships with donors are the bedrock of sustainable fundraising. By fostering a supportive, empowering work environment, you’re investing in those relationships – and in the future of your nonprofit.

So, how do we move forward? Here are a few strategies to consider:

1. Prioritize Work-Life Balance: Encourage self-care and provide resources to support mental health. Make sure your team feels empowered to take time off when they need it.
2. Set Realistic Goals: Be mindful of the pressure you’re placing on your fundraisers. Set goals that are challenging but achievable, and recognize when they’ve been met.
3. Invest in Professional Development: Support your fundraisers in their career growth. Offer training, mentorship, and opportunities for advancement within your organization.
4. Foster a Culture of Trust: Move away from micromanagement. Trust your team to do their jobs well, and give them the autonomy to make decisions.
5. Build Community: Create opportunities for your team to connect with each other and with leadership. This could be through regular check-ins, team-building activities, or open forums for discussion.

Burnout and high turnover aren’t just HR issues – they’re existential threats to the future of your nonprofit. But you aren’t powerless. By adopting a leadership model that prioritizes trust, flexibility, and autonomy, you can create a work environment where fundraisers thrive, long-term donor relationships are nurtured, and your organization’s financial sustainability is secured.

It’s time to leave behind the outdated command-and-control leadership model and embrace a new approach that recognizes the value of your people and the critical role they play in your mission. Let’s build a future where nonprofits aren’t just surviving but thriving – where fundraisers are supported, donors are engaged, and our communities are better off because of it.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU? Have you experienced burnout? Does your organization have high turnover? If so, why do you think that is? What else do you think can be done to keep good people in the fundraising and nonprofit sector (in a healthy way)? Let me know in the comments! 
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[Updated for 2025]
 
Cheers!​

P.S. If you’re feeling the weight of constant fundraising pressure and the creeping burnout that comes with it, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to muscle through it alone either. Join me for Building Fundraising Confidence, a free live webinar on 5/28. It's designed to help you rediscover your voice, sharpen your message, and build a plan that actually works. It’s practical, supportive, and CFRE approved. Register now here!

PPS - I hope you’ll continue the conversation by subscribing to Real Deal Fundraising. When you subscribe, you’ll get my monthly newsletter email, which includes the best articles on fundraising, productivity and cool stuff every week. The whole thing is curated awesomeness as well as freebies like webinars, instructional videos, and whatever else I can put together to be helpful to you!

If you liked this post, you may also like these:

• How to Climb Out of Burnout
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• Do You Work for a 21st Century Institution?
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I guess you could consider this a motivational poster of sorts, but I think it was actually a very early meme. These two sentences have become my fundraising mantra. Something I repeat to keep myself focused and to cope when things get rough.

Because I’m both a nerd and a yogi, I looked up “mantra” in the Oxford English Dictionary. The term “mantra” comes from Sanskrit and the root words mean basically: "thought support" or device to support thought and action. This is exactly what this simple sign has been for me throughout my career. Even the repetitive rhythm of it helps in its function as thought support.

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Raising money is the main thing.

Let me tell you the story of this mantra:

To give credit where it is due, the original sign was created for me by Mark Nelson, who was the Treasurer for the Libertarian National Committee (the Libertarian Party) in 2004-2005. So, he was a board officer for the organization I was working for at the time.

I was the only full-time fundraiser for the national organization and I was only 23 years old.

Their theory was to hire smart young people who would be “cheaper” salary-wise for the DC area. The exchange was that I would get a ton of valuable training and experience and they would get energetic labor.

However, I was overwhelmed and I think Mark sensed it. I was managing a conversion from an antiquated custom donor database to Raiser’s Edge. I was producing a monthly newsletter for our recurring donors. I was helping to plan the national convention and scouting locations for the next convention. I was recruiting and training paid callers to renew memberships via phone and managing our intern program. With the help of a consultant, I was managing monthly direct mail campaigns and planning fundraising events. Then, because the LP was a political organization, staff frequently got pulled into controversies and political discussions. 

I’m tired and anxious just typing about everything I was called to do.

As treasurer of course, Mark had a keen interest in keeping me motivated. On a trip to our DC office, he walked in and taped the sign to the wall above my computer monitor and explained what it meant.

The “main thing” meme helped me to prioritize my work and keep my head on straight. It also reminded me that the officers of the organization supported me in my main role.

My job as a fundraiser is revenue generation. Everything else must fade in comparison.

When I left the LP, I took this simple sheet of copy paper with me and posted it in my new office at the University of South Carolina. This concept continued to keep me focused as I was hiring 110 student callers per semester to raise $1.47 million via phone annually.

When I took a job as behind-the-scenes project manager with RuffaloCODY (now Ruffalo Noel Levitz), I would see the sign and feel sad. I knew then that I missed frontline fundraising. I missed chasing down a dollar goal. It helped me navigate my career back to raising money.

At some point in changing offices, the original paper got ragged and I disposed of it. But, when I was at Southern Miss and we tripled our annual fund income in one year, I recreated the poster for some of our gift processors who were overwhelmed and wanted a reminder of how their work connected to the big picture. It became a bit of an office-wide mantra.

Now that I’m back at a small shop, I think of this mantra often. I try hard to “stay in my lane” and keep the focus on fundraising. There is much to do, the need is great, and it is easy to feel like you are never doing quite enough.

But, the main thing . . . is to keep . . . the main thing . . . the main thing.

And, raising money . . . is the main thing.

At any organization, you will be asked to do many mundane things (I collectively call them TPS reports). These include: expense reports, submission forms, demographic changes in database, meetings, etc. Do these things, but strive to automate those tasks as much as you can so that they don’t distract you from the main thing: raising money.

At some organizations, especially those that are not organizationally mature, fundraisers will get pulled into political discussions and controversies. Continue to come back to mission and how the main thing (fundraising) supports that mission. When people around you go low, you go high. Keeping focused on raising money is the high road.

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Raising money is the main thing.

What’s your fundraising mantra? How do you keep yourself focused?

Comments and questions are, as always, welcomed and encouraged!

Cheers,

Jessica Cloud

PS – If you liked this post, you might also like these:

• In praise of being deep in the job chaos
• Where’s the joy in your fundraising plan?
• Fundraising is an amazing career choice
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